Motherhood: What Being a mom looks like - 52 weeks of blogging with a purpose

Currently it looks a tired mess.

Shame our human had a very stuffy and runny nose last night.  (The stuffy nose is normal at the moment, he has allergies (I think, as spring has sprung and the flowers and other pollens are rife right now), but it is sorted fairly easily with some Telfast at night),.  Like me (I am very claustrophobic, so when I can not breath through my nose, I feel very uncomfortable, and like I can not get enough air, and then there is panic ... ) Kai hates a blocked nose, and when his nose is blocked or runny, he wakes up and cries every 30 minutes or so in his sleep.

I hope he does not have a bout of flu coming on.  He has held up so well this winter it has been amazing.  He had a chest infection in May, and in July he had a bladder infection.  He had two slightly runny nose days in between, but no colds and flu for us this season. We have been so fortunate.  I honestly hope this is not going to break our winning streak!

Generally though, being a mom to me means I am loved and needed more than I ever ever thought possible.

My life has been turned upside down. I am a neat freak, and my two year old does not care so much for neat freaky mommy issues.

I love and respect my Klaus more than I ever ever thought possible.  I saw this quote once, and it really hit home "I never knew how much I loved your Dad until I saw how much he loved you" Seeing Klaus with Kai melts me.  It has changed him. In a good way, as it has me.

I sway when I stand on one spot talking to someone.  Like I am rocking a child to sleep. Always.  I get laughed at.

It means I have spent a lot of money on someone other than myself. A L O T

I have become a softer person.  I have always been a softy, but I hid it a lot better before.  I use to have much less patience and much less tolerance to "things".  Now I sweat the small stuff a lot less. I concentrate on the things that really make a difference. I have really looked at myself more critically and analyzed who am I and who I want to me.

Kai has opened my eyes up to explore things again like a kid does. And I love it. I have spent a lot of time working on activities to do with Kai, and family and in turn have discovered new things and place in and around Cape Town.  A great web site to find awesome things to do.

I realized how fun it is to bath!  :0)

I have quickly seen how time flies by, in a blink of an eye. This was Kai, feels like yesterday but he was so small here. It was 1.5 years go.

I have a renewed respect for my family, and realized how important they are.  There was a chunk of time in my 20's, where I did not worry to much about family.  I saw them when ever, but never really made time to be with my mom and sisters.  Now it is vital to me. Kai must know his family and I realize how lucky I am to have such an insane and happy bunch of people who share my DNA.

I take pictures.  Like never before.  I always thought people strange who always had a camera glued to them.  And never knew why taking pics of a kid eating a burger at the local burger place was so important! Until now.  Now I to want to document every little moment.  Every little memory. I realize everyday how quickly things happen and how I have already forgotten so much.  Then I just view some pics, and look at some videos.... warm and fuzzy

Birthdays are amazing.  I always thought so, but when you share it with a little human.  Hell man, who can beat that?

I find I am so excited to hear when someone is pregnant! I just get so warm and fuzzy in side.  I mean naturally you are happy for people, but now, now that I know what they are in for.... oh man, I even get a little stab of jealousy, just having that little body resting you chest.  The feeding ... Ai man.

My couz is preggo, her fist scan photo:

It means sleeping is a luxury.  Specially when your human is like Kai who really really hates sleep. 

Once in a while, when this happens, I honestly can still just stare at him for an hour, looking at all the features of his little face, his hands, his feet.  I am so scared I am going to forget how his lashes are so long, his fingers are so sweet and puffy ... 

It means bi-polar emotions.  One moment you want to kill them and a little smile of a unexpected kiss MELTS your heart and all you want to do is hug them.  

I also realized, one of my favourite things, being pampered at the hair dresser, is not half as nice when I am trying to hold down a little human who hates it. 

There are so many hard things that you have to face as a parent, but honestly, I would not change being a mom for anything in this entire big ass world! 

Kai, you rock my world, you crack us up.  You completed our family.  You are more loved than anything else ever.