I was born in Cape Town South Africa, on 2 December 1979 to My mom, Ria and dad Manuel.
My parents had a good marriage at this point. My Gran (Mom's mom) came to stay with us when I was three months old, and my mom had to go back to work.
My Gran essentially raised me. She was always there. She was amazing.
My parents marriage took a turn for the worst when I was 9, when my Dad went into business with his family and got screwed royally. My parents lost everything. My Dad started having affairs. It was the beginning on the end....but the end of their marriage only came when I was 21.
My Mom's Dad passed away when she was 7. She totally believed that a kid needs a Dad. I wish she did not. I was brought up in a house with so much fighting. Many days my mom would prefer to be at work. My father worked, a lot. My Mom would try hard to force him into spending time with me. But it was ... forced. And even at that age I knew it.
My Gran was my safe place! Oh we fought. So hard and so many times, but essentially she was the one solid rock that was always there for me.
I was an only child till around 12 when my mom "adopted" a young colleague of hers, who had moved to Cape Town to escape her crappy life from JHB. Elna moved in with us. And stayed. At first she was a huge threat to me. She would buy my mom these gifts for birthdays and Christmas. I could not buy expensive gifts, I was just a kid, and my Dad did not give much thought to these things. I thought my mom loved her more. I took it out on her. She stayed. She became my best friend. My sister. I love her so much. I don't know what I would have done if she left. She is Kai's Godmother, and there is no better Godmother ever, in the world. Few people know she is not my real sister. My Mom is mom to many. I have two more "sisters" which she adopted along the way.
When I was 13 I was with my dad at work, and at this point I believed I was an only child. In walks this women, man and 3 kids, and they walk straight to my Dad and said, Hello Dad, Hello Grandpa. He called me into his office and said "Meet your sister Michelle". I said "hello" and walked out. Shocked! When they left, he said "Oh I was married before and this is the child I had. You don't see her because your Mother won't let you. Don't tell you Mother". End of conversation. I kept that secret for years! Till I was about 18. I eventually found out that my father was married, but the women left him. They got married because their families forced them too, when Michelle's Mom fell pregnant. My mom did not even know he had a child, when they got married. Anyway, Michelle is much older, and lives in Johannesburg, so we don't really see each other. But there are no hard feelings. When we do see each other its like seeing a long lost friend. Not a sister though.
Long story but my Michelles Mom did not want her around my Dad, and my Mom did not want me to know about her because of all the fighting and stuff....
When my parents eventually called it quits 3 days before my 21st birthday (happy birthday to me). My Mom had one clause in the divorce contract. It basically read that he has to help me with my studies, till I am done. He tore the papers up and said "You wanted her".
My gran got Altzheimers when I was about 18, and 3 weeks before my parents divorce my mother was forced to put my Grandmother in a home, where she can be taken care of. We could not handle her and keep her safe at home any longer. It was hard.
Anyway, my mother was very over protective, and would not let me go overseas after school so I studied. Did badly. (Could be because of the above, divorce and Gran going into a home??) Stopped. Worked in a bar. Met Klaus. Started working. Got Married, and now my life is amazing.
I learnt many things I don't want to do with Kai. Things I want him to never have to experience from my childhood. I work daily to change the life I had.
I remember VERY little from when I was a child. I don't think there is much good to remember. My mom tried hard! to be both Mom and Dad, She spoiled me a lot. Tried to give me everything I wanted. And I will always love her a little bit more for that.
This post is very messy, and blotchy. I don't like writing about it. But it is who I am.
There is a lot more. I just can't put it all on here. I cant deal with all the emotions which it brings up.
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