Blogging with Purpose

Been really thinking of what to blog about.  I mean who wants to see my boring mommy life in action?  There are some things I will obvs capture here for me to remember, but the normal day to day stuff.. nah, boring.

I have seen some of the bloggers I follow doing 52 weeks of blogging with purpose, and though I have to look into it more, I found this really cool one from last week.

"If I could turn back the clock"

Got me thinking:

1.  I would have had my boy a bit earlier. Having Kai at 32, has made the choice to have another much harder.  And we have pretty much now decided that one is enough for us. And I am happy with that, I guess though that I always wanted a big family (after I got over the - I will NEVER have kids bit), but decided oh it can wait a bit more .... no next year ... no next .... and then Kai.  Now a second one, just feels like I will be to old.  It will be to hectic ... Mmmm maybe I need to give it some more thought. Ahmen

2.  I have always been "big built" never a small dainty little thing.  But when I was 19/20 I lost a lot of weight.  Not because I was dieting and stuff, I was partying.  Hard. I wish now though that instead of getting back to "normal" life, I would have made healthier choices and not picked up so much weight.

3.  I wish I finished my degree. I should not have given up, regardless of the crap that went on in my life at the time. I really wish so much I finished.  Cared more. Understood more.  Saw a bit further into the future.

4. I wish instead of going straight to college after school, I travelled first.  Maybe number 3 above would have been easier if I was more mature, and I would have dealt with things differently.

5.  I would NEVER have picked up that cigarette at Claire's 28th birthday.  After being smoke free for 5 years, I did it, and now 5 years later I feel horrible and still struggling to quit.  Blegh!

6. We should have stayed in house 1 longer, and moved straight to house 3.  Wasted too much money on house 2 where we only stayed for 3 years.  But we live and we learn.

7.  Sadly there were many "friends" I cared too much for.  Gave to much of myself too. And I got hurt in return. Wish I never did that.  Wish I did not get so involved in my friends lives. Wish I did not always feel the need to fix everything for everyone, to my own detriment. I need to learn, even now, to look out for me more.  For me and Klaus and Kai.

8. I wish every day that I can have one more lucid day with my Granny.  She was the bomb, she lived with us and so I often took her for granted.  She was as much my mom as my mom was.  Sometimes more so.  I took a lot for granted when she was alive.  I wish I wrote down her recipes which she cooked from memory.  I wish I spent more time with her. .... When the Altzheimers really got her, I could not stand it and stayed away a lot.  When she died, I did not even feel all that sad, cause I had said goodbye to her 3 years before.  But now, now I wish for one more lucid day.


That is it, none of these things would change the outcome of who I am today.  just made my life a little less hectic.  I wont change anything big, nothing that would change where I am in my life today.

Its good,
Its hard,
Its amazing,
Sometimes I want to run away and hide for a bit,
Mostly I would not be anywhere else than with the people I share my life with everyday.