My advise for new mommies

Before the new human arrives:

Give in to the "nesting bug", at times you will feel like you have had enough of cleaning and packing and re-packing and washing and wiping, but don't give up.  Once the little person arrives there is no time for doing all the little things which have bugged you for ages, but you just never get to. Keep a list of the little nooks and crannies, and drawers and cupboards you want to get too, and do them!  Take your time to sort out your things, and make life easier for yourself.

Take at least 2 weeks off before baby is due.  Use those two weeks to just relax, and faff!  I thought two weeks was going to be way to long to be home "doing nothing" before my planned cesarean, but it went by so quickly!  I got to relax, read a book in peace, and got to do things I never had time for, and it feels now like I will never have time for ever again (I know i will but for now, with Kai being 10 weeks old, its all still a long way off). mm mm little update:  His TWO NOW and I still seem to struggle to find time for a lot of stuff, but its MUCH BETTER! 

Make sure your nursery is a happy cheerful, but also calm quite place for you and baby to spend time in.  YOU must ultimately love being in there.  Baby will not appreciate any of the effort / colours / toys / and other accessories for a long long time, but you will have to spend time in there.  So make sure its to your taste.  Don't forget a little radio or CD player.  Music is awesome for baby and will keep you sane too :) .

Spend time in the nursery before hand, hopefully by the time you go on maternity leave it will all be done and sorted, imagine the baby being there, and see how it works for you.  Make sure you have your compactum sorted, clothes packed in.  Wipes, creams and bits and bobs packed out.  Make sure the nursery is a place you can feel happy in.  You spend a good amount of time in there.  Make sure that clothes, towels, wipes, diapers and other changing supplies are close at hand.  Once baby is on the changing table you can't walk too far, so make sure its all in good reach. Make sure the diaper bin (which ever system you chose) is near the changing area as well.  Spare supplies should also go in the babies room, as you inevitable run out of something half way thru changing him / her.

Make sure your hospital bag is packed,well in advance.  Find out before hand what you will get at hospital,  I ended up having tons of maternity pads, and disposal undies left over, un-used, as I not only brought my own, but also received a bunch from the hospital.  As you are charged for these items don't just buy them before hand.  Don't forget to pack hand cream and lip balm!  You end up washing your hands a million times a day and the rooms are very warm in the maternity ward, so your lips need that chap stick. Don't over pack for baby, you will also receive many items from the hospital for him / her.  A outfit a day and 2 spare, including vests, and some socks.  2 - 3 blankets, depending on the season, is pretty much all I needed for Kai.  The rest was supplied in his welcome bag.  Make sure you have a close girl friend or a sister or Mom at hand who can bring the maternity pads and or other very personal items if you do for some reason need more or run out at the hospital.  Make sure you arrange with her before hand so she is "on-call".  Also make sure you have one spare outfit and some PJ's for you and baby packed neatly in your closet, in case you need hubby to bring them while you are in hospital.  Show him where they are  before hand, and make sure he knows he can just grab that one little pile.  Klaus is a awesome husband, and very in touch with my needs, but no man knows a women's closet, and the black pants with the red band with the buttons down the side, means NOTHING to them, so to avoid stress for yourself and poor hubby, have that spare set of items ready.

Set up a user list on your cell phone to send out the news of babies arrival before hand, that way you wont send it to an old work colleague who did not even know you were pregnant, nor will you forget someone important.  Also pre-type the message, so you can make sure you have all the info on there which you want to share.  On the day you are so over-whelmed with the new baby this is one stress you do not need.

Set aside some money and make sure you book a Mani and pedi, a hair cut colour and dye for as close as possible to your babies arrival.  Makes sure you don't do anything to fancy with your hair, nothing that will require to much maintenance afterward.  Also make sure you don't chose any colour for your nails and toes, keep it very natural.  For the first 6 weeks after Kai was born, I hardly remembered I had hands and feet, never mind the time to clean off chipped colourful nail varnish.  I had a clear lacquer put over my nails and toe nails, so it never looked bad, and tacky.  By the time I had a bit more time for myself, I enjoyed my normal nail colours again. I only got to spend some time on hair colour and maintenance again by the time Kai was about 8 weeks old, so had I added highlights, it would have been grown out and looking tacky as well.

Stock up the freezer with pre-cooked meals!  The first couple of weeks are hard, and both Mom and Dad don't have time to cook and clean, so make sure to have some pre-cooked meals, which are easy to just pop in the microwave to warm. 

Do some shopping, stock your pantry with all the things you normally love.  Shopping with a baby is so hard, and even if they are being baby sat, the first couple of times you are out alone, you are rushing so much you will forget half of what you needed to buy.  So do a nice big shopping expedition, just before the birth. It's worth it. Start your shopping list in advance, and keep track of the things you want to buy.  I find listing things on my cell phone was best, as this is the one thing I always have with me. 

Make sure to have a spot set up for yourself and baby where you can spend time during the day. My favorite place is a spot on the couch, Kai is next to me.  I have a dinner tray set up and ready for my laptop with a plug close by for my charger for phone and laptop.  Your contact with the outside world is limited to visitors (very few during the week, as most of my friends worked) and Internet access.  So make sure you have a spot where you can have the laptop ready, but not on your lap as baby holds that spot most of the time.  Make sure you can have your hands free, quickly.  Also the tray works well as I can have his bottle, dummy, and the TV remotes on the tray. There is also a place on the tray for my coffee mug :) DECAFF for breastfeeding mom's, remember to add this to the shopping list above.

Things I can't do without:

In the nursery:  

1.  A well organised compactum  - You spend so much time at the compactum, its well worth the money.  Make sure its a good height for you.  You change baby on here often, specially in the beginning. I had all Kai's clothes packed in his compactum, that way if I need anything while changing him, it's at my finger tips.  Buy a good size one, remember they are only teeny weeny tiny for a small amount of time, but they still need to be changed, and clothed for years to come.  So make sure your compactum will last you for some time in terms of size.

2. Baby Bath - At first we thought we would just pop our newborn in the bath, but this was a very silly idea.  Its way to low, and no normal person has the back to deal with all that bending.  We bought a bath with a stand, which works so well.  We were also able to bath Kai in his own room with this, as he is a winter baby we did not have to move him to the cold bathroom and back.  This made bath time fun, and he loves it, as he is warm and sorted all in one place.

3.  Diaper bin -  Poo is smelly, not matter if it is baby poo!  My angel care bin, is amazing, there are no nasty odours, and I don't have to run to the kitchen / outside to throw away a stinky diaper every time after I have changed him,.  I love the way the diapers just disappear, and we only need to clean it out once a week.

4.  A mobile - at first Kai seemed scared of his mobile so I took the mobile part of and just had the music going, which he seemed to enjoy.  Then when he was about 6 weeks old I added the mobile arm back, and he seemed rather non phased about the turning animals above his head.  Then at 8 weeks he suddenly become mesmerized by the turning animals he follows them around, and although there are only 3 animals, it keeps him happy and now he spends a large amount of time happily watching his mobile.  This gives me time to get dressed in the morning, make a cup of coffee and have a toilet brake during the day!

5.  A monitor you trust - I have the angelcare monitor, this is a clear and good quality apnea monitor, I trust it and happily leave him in his cot, mobile going, so I have some hands free time. In the beginning, you are so paranoid that something might happen to baby, so having a monitor you trust is very important, else you will NEVER leave babies side.

6.  Room thermometer - I never seem to know if his room is to hot or too cold, so a pretty room thermometer, took the guess work out of it, and now I always know.

7.  Comfy chair - For breastfeeding its a MUST HAVE, a chair in the nursery, to breastfeed and burp, to sit in and just to stare at baby, and to make him calm while his trying to fall asleep.  I spent loads of time in my Mom's lazy boy chair which i got to borrow .... Now I have a smaller chair in the nursery, but for the first couple of weeks, a chair that is comfy and even better if you can take a nap in it too .... is a must have.

8.  Snug a safe - Snuggle nest - Since Kai is a breast baby AND a winter one at that, walking to his room was just too much of a nightmare for me, specially since it is every 2 hours....he ended up in bed with us.  As a new born, its impossible to sleep with such a tiny little thing between you.  The life saver was the snuggle nest I bought.  We all got to get a great sleep .... Now its also great, when he goes for sleep overs at granny, as he has his little mobile bed, and she is also happy and safe with him close to her.

9.  A clock - We did not have one to start off with, but it became essential for recording feeding times and nap times.  So make sure you have one before baby comes.

10. A night lite:  Too teach babies the difference between day and nite you have to keep the days bright and the nights dark. Since you still need to see to be able to change diapers and pop in the dummy a good nite light is essential! 

Baby essentials:

Diapers - We got a pack of Huggies diapers in hospital, but they seems to leak a lot.  This might very well be from total lack of experience on putting them on ... however we seem to do much better on the Pampers diapers.  We used new born for about 6 weeks and are now on number 2's - the number 2 phase not going to last long as I can see us going on to number 3's VERY soon.  So make sure you have about 6 packs of new born diapers, and don't buy too many number 2's.  I would say if you want to stock up stock them up from size 3 onward!

Wet wipes - Pampers wet wipes are great and moist - which is what you really need! I found the Huggies wet wipes to be very dry!  The Johnson and Johnson ones are very wet, so a happy medium is def the Pampers!

Vests:  Lots and lots of vests! 2 vests a day, and if you don't want to do laundry day in and day out, have tons!  They are fairly inexpensive in the great scheme of things and so worth the cost.  - BUT only buy AFTER baby shower, as vests is a very common gift! A great one at that!

No feet baby grows: I find that Kai is growing out of his growers with feet really fast, as he is growing in length, the ones with no feet still fit fine, and its easy to just add a pair of cute socks, to keep the tootsies warm! :) The growers with feet seem to last for a much shorter period of time! :(

Dummy and some glycerin:   I was adamant about a couple of things during pregnancy, one of them was that I was not going to use a dummy!  RITE!  It was either having Kai on my boob, suckling the entire day, or giving him a dummy to sooth himself!  I chose option 2! Adding a teeny bit of glycerin to make him latch to the dummy is a saving grace!  It really does work!  I tried all the expensive dummies - nuk tommy tippee and avent, he would not have them!  He only wanted the cheap and horrible looking honey dummy! Also I believe you can take the dummy away at a certain point, but once they start sucking on fingers you have a problem as you cannot take their hands away!

Food and bottle warmer:  I found this bottle warmer to be an essential item for us.  Boiling a kettle, having to pour the water into a jug and then swirling the bottle around till the milk is warm just did not work for me.  Specially since I often had to get the milk warm while holding Kai, and working with the boiling water did not seem to safe with a screaming flailing baby in my arms. We initially had the AVENT model but sadly this one lasted less than a week in our house.  The switch is in the back of this model and when water splashed on it, (from us swirling the bottle around in the unit), it broke and stoped working! The pigeon one we have been using now for about a month, and it is going strong.

Bottle Sterilizer: We are using this avent model, which works well, but I do find we have to sterilize 2/3 times when we are washing up ... so maybe look for a larger one? 

Towling nappies:  I bought one pack and ended up having to go out and buy more.  They are used for spit towls and you use surprisingly many in a week.  I try to keep laundry down to once a week, so therefor I use a bit more.  I found that 12 was a good number for me....

Bum Cream:  A good bum cream! I am so lucky that my Mom (a pharmacist) mixes a really good one for me.  Kai is 10 weeks old, and has not had so much as a red bump on his little tooch! During the night you tend to change them less, so I make sure I pile the cream on with his 10 pm diaper! Remember to do it! It works, and a sore bum must be the worst!

Pump action only:  I suggest you buy only pump action products where possible.  They are much easier to use, and in the first couple of days 2 hands is just not enough ... it gets easier though, but still I think the pump action bottles are not only easier to use, but also much more hygienic :)

For the Breastfeeders:

The best breast pads are most certainly the Pigeon ones.  They have two little sticky bits and stick to the inside of your feeding bra really well.  The Avent ones have no sticky  bits so slide around allot, and the Nuk ones have only one sticky thingy so it tends to fold over and around when you are ready to dress again!

A good breast pump is a must. I am very happy with my Avent one.  It is great to use, and works really easily. Also fits well into the sterilizer....

Start storing breast milk from the moment you can!  I got pretty sick around week 8 and was so lucky that I had stored and frozen breat milk.  I could safely take my meds and still feed Kai breast milk! I just had to keep pumping and had to throw the milk away during the time I was on the meds. 
I had to order mine online, as I could only find the medela ones R200 for 20), which are VERY expensive! So order in advance, I got the Lansinoh online for R198 for 50.


For Mommy:

It will be a long time till you can use your normal handbag again, so if a nice hand bag is as essential to your outfit  as it is for me, then a snazzy baby bag is a top priority!  I found an excellent one online, and absolutely love it.  It is most certainly one of my favourite baby items I bought!

My phone became my best friend, I used it to record feeds diaper changes, and questions I had for the doc and nurse visits.  Also to keep track of important events, as porridge brain does NOT go away once the bump is gone!  Birthdays and doctors visits, vaccination dates and feeds - all stored on this one device that is always by my side! It is also an amazing tool to just call someone for advice, or a quick chat, just to let yourself know you are still normal! Essential mommy item!

Rescue remedy:  This is amazing stuff, babies most certainly feel your angst, and popping one of these every now and again, made me feel calmer and like I could more easily deal with the challenges of a new baby.  It can also be given to baby, after a hectic day of outings, or a scary day at the nurses office for vaccinations!  It works!  Just break one up and sneak it into his / her feed.  It makes them calmer and more relaxed, and helps to settle them after a hectic day or traumatic experience!

Be organized!  Make lists and keep track of things!  Make sure you speak to a nurse before hand about vaccinations, so you know what to expect, and when they need to happen.  After baby is born start dating the vaccinations on a calender (BB is great for this as well), so you remember to make the appointments, and remember to keep them too!

Don't buy to much before hand.  Wait till after your baby shower.  Rather keep some money aside every month, the money you would have spent on shopping for baby, and then after the baby shower do one nice HUGE shopping spree, where you then shop to your hearts content! It is well worth the wait, and will make sure you don't end up with loads of doubles!

Trust your gut!  A mom always knows best, no matter what you think!  If you think there is something wrong there may very well be!  So just follow your instincts, its what they are there for!

Lastly and probably most importantly, chose someone before hand which you know you can talk too! Those first six weeks were so tuff, and the baby blues are a very real symptom of having a baby! Make sure you have that one person, preferably someone who recently went thru this, to talk to.  Too vent too ... make sure its someone you trust, someone who wont judge, as there is so much guilt for having the feelings you have!

Know that you will feed inadequate, and stupid! Also know its ok to feel this way!

The best advice I ever got ... "babies cry, just deal with it"!  Yep sometimes they just cry!  They are fed, burped, and clean, but they still just cry.  Know its ok that you don't know what is wrong!  Sometimes they just cry!!!

Above all remember, that it is all worth it in the end!  And when the first happy smiles appear on their adorable little faces, you will know your life is suddenly complete!